Devil's touch
by thedeadwriting
Summary: "Do not trust anyone" had been her last warning to you. Should you care for the man who helped you find meaning again? Was he your saviour or was he the cause of all your despair?. Negan/OC
1. Saying goodbye

**Disclaimer- I do not own the walking dead or any of the characters in the show/comics, only my OC's and storyline.**

 **I thought of the idea for this story when I was going to sleep and just couldn't wait to start working on it! I already know the direction I'm going to take the story in and what's going to happen to the characters and I'm really excited to share it with any readers! I hope you enjoy:).**

You was suddenly woken from your sleep as the sound of the door to the room you shared with your mum slammed open against the wall. Your mum rushed in letting out heavy breaths as she began to rummage through the draws beside the bed.

"Mum what's going on?" You asked, your voice rusty from sleep. You rubbed your eyes, attempting to wake yourself up to see what all the commotion was about.

"We need to leave" she said quickly, her voice driven with panic. You stared at her as she packed some clothes, stuffing them in her backpack. She turned to look at you, as your gaze met you noticed the glimmer of fear that was running through her eyes. "Now!" She said speaking a little louder than before. You noted the desperation which filled her command.

You immediately rose from then bed, still confused but you didn't think it would be a good idea to disobey her even if you didn't understand what was going on. You headed over to the stool where you and your mum store the small amount of canned food you earned and began to place it in your own bag, in a much calmer manor than your mum.

"Mum what's going on?" You asked, walking towards her once you were satisfied you'd gathered enough of the necessities. Being this close to her, you took in her appearance, a shiver shot down your spine as you realised she must've run into trouble. The fabric to her tshirt which had covered her left arm was ripped from the shoulder down, her exposed skin on her bicep was a deep shade of red with bruises forming in the shape of fingertips. You lifted your eyes up to her face, you noticed a split in the skin on her bottom lip, small amounts of blood were escaping from the open wound. Her short hair was drooping over her face, half of it not tied back into her previously neat pony tail.

"It's not safe here for us honey, the men here, their leader.." She sounded as though she was about to explain herself but she shook her head dismissing the idea. "We just have to leave okay?, Don't ask questions just trust me".

She rose her hand to your face and cupped your cheek as she gave you a small reassuring smile, however her attempt didn't calm you down as the emotion in her eyes that she was trying to hide betrayed her. Something sinister must have happened. You trusted your mum with your life and loved her with all your heart. No matter what you would follow her but you couldn't fully comprehend what she had said because it didn't make sense. The both of you arrived at the sanctuary over 3 months ago, it was safe here, there was a point system but it worked. We've had our struggles getting the food we need but this place is better than facing the dangers outside these walls where you had both lost everything. But looking at her now, maybe you overestimated the safety of your new home. You become slightly annoyed at how naive you must've been.

You didn't ask anymore questions, deciding to accept what your mum had said. Home was were your mum was, you would leave if you were with her. You nodded, looking deep into your mums eyes, lifting one of your hands to her one covering your cheek, giving it a tight squeeze. After a few moments, you both turned away from eachother and collected anything left that would be needed.

You pulled on your jacket and tied up your boots, throwing your backpack over one shoulder, deciding you were ready. You walked towards the door which your mum had left open, you checked the cost was clear but your mum suddenly grabbed your wrist, pulling you back inside.

"We can't be seen leaving so we need to move quickly and quietly until we are out of the gates and no matter what happens to us, if you somehow end up back here, do not trust anyone" She explained. The only response you gave was another nod, letting her know you understood what she was saying as you repeated her last warning in your head frightened by the tone she had chosen to use.

"Stay close to me" she commanded, finalising her instructions. "I love you Lacey" she said softly, looking as if she was about to cry.

"I love you too mum" you replied with a smile, taking her hand in yours.

She pulled you behind her as you both snuck out of your room. Shuffling down the corridor with both your backs against the wall so she could make sure no one was coming around the corner. You still didn't know why everything was so secretive, why couldn't you just leave if you wanted to?. You were aware of the rules that were put in place by the leader Negan but you barely ever saw him which led you to believe they couldn't be that serious if he wasn't around to enforce them.

After what seemed like an eternity of sneaking through the compound you and your mum reached the gates at the front of the old factory. There was a man guarding the fence on a raised platform, but the darkness surrounding you hid you and your mum from his sight. Only then did you realise it must be the middle of the night, what had your mum been doing outside your room so late?. Before you could think about it any longer your mum pulled your arm, dragging you through the rip in the fence which you assumed she had made. Finally free, you both bolted for the cover of the trees. Just before you were completely surrounded by nature, you took a look back at the place you had recently considered to be home and you couldn't help but think you would miss the security it provided. Turning back to your mum, you followed her continuing to run in the opposite direction to the sanctuary.

As you were running through the forest, hearing the crunching of leaves beneath your feet your thoughts drifted to the only family you had left. Because of the rushed circumstances you hadn't even managed to ask her if she was okay. She was the strongest and bravest woman you knew, she had definitely seen her hardships in this new world. We'd come across bad people before and she'd received the scars to prove it but this must be more serious.

Both you and your mum were unable to continue running for much longer, both wheezing from sprinting. Coming up to a small deserted house, engulfed by greenery you both decided it was a good place to catch your breath. Not really exercising for months was really paying a tole on you now, all you had both been doing was working in the gardens which was hardly exhausting work. You looked over to your mum who was was bent over with her hands set on her thighs. She was violently coughing, clearly struggling to carry on running with the wounds she had received from whatever happened back at the sanctuary.

She eventually stood up straight, tilting her head back and resting it against a large piece of glass which appeared to be a window belonging to the house. You started to walk towards her wanting to help her in anyway that you could. It broke your heart to see her like this, beaten and hurt. You were a few feet from her when there was a loud shatter of glass, your eyes widened with terror at the events which were about to unfold in front of you. Countless pairs of rotting hands gripped onto your mum's torso, her eyes searched for yours in a state of panic.

Everything seemed to freeze as you locked eyes. She masked her fear, looking at you softly allowing a small smile to appear on her face despite her struggle. You knew what she thought was about to happen, she was saying goodbye. You began to move towards the window, refusing to let this happen. You reached for her hand, inches separated the two of you as she was dragged through the window by the dead.

You let out a painful scream as if your heart was literally being ripped from your chest. Your mum's gut-wrenching cries forced you to the floor with the weight of what you were witnessing. You continued to scream, calling out for your mum over and over hoping she would climb through the window unscathed. The blood drained from your face, every inch of your body was shaking with despair. You couldn't believe this was it. She was all you had left in this world, all that mattered, all that kept you going.

Your mum's cries finally came to a halt leaving you in silence but you knew what this defending silence meant. Only the low moans of the dead from inside the house could be heard along with the small sobs you were letting out. You somehow rose from the ground, and headed towards where your mum had been, you kept your eyes closed, not wanting to see the horror that would be in front of you. You placed your hands against the frame of the window, shards of glass ripping into your skin causing blood to pour out from your injury.

You could hear familiar moans of the dead in the distance, the sounds of your mothers dying screams must've attracted more of these monsters. Not caring whether you lived or died, you sunk to the floor once again as if it was dragging you down by your feet. You dropped your head and thought about your mums last moments, the look in her eyes and the reassuring smile she gave, almost as if she was trying to tell you everything was going to be okay. You hugged your knees, not caring enough about your life to prepare for the painful death that you was about to endure.

The moans become much louder as the dead started surrounding you, you squeezed your eyes shut even tighter. You then felt a hand grip your shoulder roughly as the sound of gunfire filled your ears.


	2. Aftermath

**Here's chapter 2, it's a little shorter than the first but I promise the next chapter will be much longer!. hope you enjoy it:).**

You kept your head down noting the rippling thuds of bodies hitting the floor. By the sounds of it, there were a lot more dead surrounding you than had you originally thought. Despite how loud the ignition of bullets were they couldn't drown out your mum's haunting cries which were replaying over in your head. Crippled with loss you hugged your knees tighter, not moving despite bullets whizzing dangerously close to you.

When the shooting finally ceased you were greeted by a another hollow silence. Minutes passed without a sound until you heard footsteps beginning to approach you so you finally lifted your head. Your vision was impaired from the combination of tears spilling from your lids and beaming headlights which belonged to several trucks that were parked in front of you. You managed to catch a glimpse of black boots which were imbedded into the ground before your head began to spin and everything went dark.

You felt yourself coming around to the sound of rustling close to you. Your eyes involuntarily opened and you blinked several times, trying to gather your bearings. For a moment you had forgotten the events which had unfolded until your surroundings became clear. You were laying on a bed in one of the sanctuary medical rooms, a place you had only visited with your mum when you had both first arrived here, back when you had thought the sanctuary would be safe, a place you could have some sort of a life, but you were wrong. You expected to receive a familiar wave of sadness and pain when you thought of your mum but you were numb. Back in the forest you had felt as though you were dying, mortally wounded by the loss of your mum but now you realised you have no hope, no light in your life or reason for existence which left you with nothing but an empty shell of a body.

You heard footsteps approaching the room followed by the turning of a handle. The door swung open and a figure slowly walked in, their movements halted when they reached the side of the bed.

"She's only just woke up" spoke a voice who you assumed belonged to the doctor. "She has lost a lot of blood which is why she passed out" He explained.

You saw a large hand come into your vision and you followed it with your eyes. Their fingertips ghosted over your fingers until they pushed them back, opening your hand up and revealing the deep cuts you had received on your palms from resting them on the shards of glass back in the forest. They continued their careful inspection of your hands as they lightly brushed their thumb over your wound causing a stinging sensation to travel through your hand but you didn't react. They continued to caress your palm for a moment longer before breaking their contact and lowering themselves into the chair beside the bed, only then did you turn your head and realise you had been visited by Negan.

He looked at you, his features conveying a mixture of emotions. His hazel eyes bored into yours, thick layers of unreadable emotion consumed them. You examined his face, lowering your eyes to his salt and peppered beard which covered his sharp jawline. Negan searched your eyes for any sign of emotion, but unlike his, there was nothing in them to read. You stared at him blankly, your puffy emerald eyes heavy and your mouth set in a straight line. Your pale face simply conveyed the emptiness that you were feeling inside.

You had always been scared of Negan. Not that you'd seen him show qualities which would be associated with a bad man, but you saw the way everyone dropped to their knees whenever he passed, the way no one ever spoke a word back or disobeyed him. On the rare occasion he had spoke to you, you had crumbled in his presence, unable to hide your fear. You knew you had nothing to be scared of anymore, there was nothing Negan could do to you that would be as bad as this but you couldn't help but be slightly afraid when he was near, you assumed it was just a habit. He eventually diverted his eyes after not receiving the answers he had hoped from your face. He dropped his head, letting out a frustrated sigh in the process. He placed his hands on his knees and pushed him self up in one swift motion, standing before turning to the man on the opposite side of the bed. You returned your eyes to where they had been previously as you heard him speak for the first time since he entered the room.

"I'll be back tomorrow let me know if there's any changes or if she actually decides to fucking talk so I can start dealing with this shit" He explained, speaking roughly. He was clearly annoyed but you didn't care, you barely even took note of it. You had no energy or motivation to be bothered by the encounter.

Negan looked back at you one last time before swinging his beloved Lucille over his shoulder and existing the room. As soon as you heard the door close you laid back in the bed and closed you eyes, hoping to get a break from this nightmare.


	3. The next day

**I hope your enjoying the story, please leave comments if you can, I haven't been writing fic's long and wouldn't mind receiving criticism so I know how I can improve:) also I haven't wrote in second person before but I wanted to try something new, sorry if any readers aren't fully understanding the characters but I will try my hardest. thank you to anyone who is reading!**

You didn't sleep much last night, you hoped you would be able to find some peace from this mess by closing your eyes but you were wrong. You had time to think everything over because of your lack of sleep and you felt guilty over the fact that your mothers body was laying cold and alone in that deserted house. You had left her out there to rot, you needed to go and retrieve her body and lay her to rest, hopefully then you could mourn properly. Once you were given orders to leave and go back to your room, you would go back out there and bring her back, you had to.

You were ripped from your thoughts when the door opened revealing Negan. He had lucille resting over his shoulder as he leaned against the frame of the door. You expected to see his signature grin which was plastered on his face every minute of everyday, but it wasn't there. His mouth was straight and his eyes were filled with concern. He walked towards the bed with one hand in his pocket as he set lucille down to rest against the chair he had sat in the night before. You could see the residual of the dead that was intertwined between the sharp edges of wire, the sight caused a chilling shiver to run down your spine.

Negan looked down at you locking you in his captivating stare. After several moments he diverted his stare to the doctor that entered the room.

"I was just about to radio you, she's good to go. All she needs to do is keep the wounds clean and then come back in a few days to have the stitches removed" the doctor spoke shakily informing Negan what needed to be done. You didn't know why Negan was being told you could take care of yourself.

"Yeah yeah I'll keep her fucking hands clean, how many days until I need to bring her back here?" Negan asked. You wondered why he was talking like he was your carer, You barely knew eachother.

"Give it two days then bring her back" the doctor replied, both men talking as if you wasn't present.

You remained silent as they continued to converse and the doctor handed Negan some fresh dressing and some antibiotics, he stuffed them in the pockets of his leather jacket which covered his broad shoulders. When he was done talking to the doctor he shooed him away with his hand and the man scurried away within a second, reminding you of the authority Negan had. He returned his gaze to yours once again and he was greeted with the first sign of emotion he had seen in your eyes since your mum had died. You looked at him with confusion, he guessed you were questioning why he was here again, helping you when he had barely spoke 5 words to you since you had arrived at the sanctuary.

"So your names Lacey right?" Negan asked, you were unsure why he did because he obviously knew the answer. You couldn't find the energy to speak, still deflated with the reminder of death. You lowered your eyes to your hands, as you nodded, feeling slightly nervous under his gaze.

"Still no words huh? Fucking fine, whether your speaking to me or not your coming back to my room and I'll wait until your ready to spit some words out, I've got all day". You looked up at him, frowning clearly showing your dislike to what he'd said. You really didn't want to spend any time with anyone, all you wanted to do was bury your mum.

You dragged your legs over the side of the bed and sat up, causing a smile to form on Negan's face, he was clearly happy that you had listened to what he had said. Your feet didn't quite touch the ground due to your small height, you placed your hands on the edge of the bed when you felt stinging race through your hand. You let out a sigh realising you had forgotten about your wounds.

Just as you were about to slide of the bed, Negan suddenly stepped in front of you placing both of his large hands on your waist with a tight hold, in one swift motion he lifted you off your bed onto your feet. He towered over you, being only 5ft3 caused you to feel considerably small standing beneath Negan. You wanted to thank him but you didn't have the strength to smile so you just gave him another nod as you removed yourself from his hold and stepped around him to retrieve your combat boots which were set beside the chair. You were careful not torment your wounds further as you placed your feet in the boots. You were still in the clothes you had slept in the night you and your mum had left the sanctuary and they were due a change, covered in mud and splattered with the blood which belonged to the dead that had surrounded you in the forest.

You stood up straight, informing Negan that you were ready to go. He grabbed lucille and hung her lazily on his shoulder whilst he placed his other hand on the small of your back as he walked beside you out of the room. You stiffened under his touch and Negan took note of your reaction. He dropped his hand and put it in his pocket not wanting to make you uncomfortable, he wanted you to talk to him and you wouldn't do that if you weren't comfortable.

Finally you reached your destination, the two final people down the corridor dropped to their knees in front of you as you entered negans room. His room was unlike yours or anyone else's for that fact. You didn't care much for luxuries, especially in this moment but you couldn't help but take notice of the huge king sized bed which sat in the centre of the room. You were used to a much smaller size which you shared with your mum. You suddenly felt saddness run through your body as you realised you would never fall asleep to the sound of your mum quietly singing to you again, you then realised that the huge bed had no significance to you really.

Negan led you to one of the chairs which sat behind a low table, this time holding your arm softly instead of your back which you were grateful for. You sat with your hands in your lap as Negan took his place on the coach opposite you.

"So Lacey, how old are you?" Negan asked, finally breaking the silence which filled his room. You decided to answer him, the longer you were stuck with him, the longer you had to wait to find your mum's body, if it was still there.

"I'm 17" you told him. Your voice croaky from not leaving your throat for a day.

"Only 17?" Negan said in disbelief as he leant forwards and rested his elbows on his knees. "I assumed you was older, you and your mum were so independent, I guessed you were old enough to take care of yourself" he continued as he stroked his beard.

You felt tears building in your eyes at the mention of your mum, hearing someone else talk about her using past tense made it all real. You blinked quickly to get rid of the tears, you had done enough crying.

"I am old enough to take care of myself" you spoke quietly but boldly, bringing your eyes down to look at the table. There really wasn't anything negan could do to hurt you anymore but you couldn't help but be careful around him, you didn't know his limits and you didn't want to test them but he needed to know you could take care of yourself.

"I fucking know that darlin', I'm just saying I thought you were older". You raised your eyes back to his, you were sure he wasn't angry due to the gentleness of his voice and softness in his eyes.

You were tense in your chair, your shoulders stiff and negan took note of this. "You can fucking relax Lacey, I'm not going to hurt you" he said as he leaned back again, lifting one of his arms up straight to rest on the top of the couch.

You allowed yourself to relax at his deceleration, for some reason you truly believed he wouldn't hurt you. Negan smiled to himself, happy that your nerves had eased.

His smiled quickly dropped as he looked at you, really looked at you. Your eyes had left his gaze for the hundredth time and he felt an unfamiliar feeling of guilt as he took in your appearance. You looked even paler than you usually did aswell as a lot skinner. Negan had been told that you and your mum were struggling with points and the results of not eating properly were evident on you. He noticed your long auburn hair was greasy and ratty but it was your eyes which bothered him the most. Apart from when he saw you first this morning, there was no emotion behind your eyes, and this worried him. No one should have to see what you did back in the forest and Negan thought that if he had just taken care of his own people, you would still have your mum. He shaked his head and sighed, deciding he would help you in anyway he could.

Just as negan was about to try and find out more about you, there was a loud thud on the door. His soft eyes immediately iced over as he become angry at the interruption.

"Who the fuck is it" he's voice boomed which made you jump in your chair. Since the other night, loud voices had seemed to startle you, they reminded you of your mothers shrilling cries.

"Sir there is a situation" a man on the other side of the door said quietly.

"This situation better be fucking important enough to disturb be on my day off" Negan said as he stood and grabbed Lucille, he turned to you before opening the door.

"Stay the fuck here Lacey, I'll be back soon". His gentle voice from earlier was now gone and it was replaced frustration and anger.

As soon as he left you stood and walked over to the door, placing your ear against the wood. As soon as you heard his footsteps leave the corridor you searched the room for any kind of weapon which could come in handy when in the woods. You saw a large knife on a table next negans bed and you grabbed it, sliding it into your boot. This was your chance, all you wanted to do was get your mum's body and bring it back to bury, surely Negan would understand that. You opened the door slowly making sure there was no one in the corridor. You briefly wondered why there were so many doors surrounding Negan's room but you dismissed the thought as you walked out of the room and began to exit the building.


	4. Flood of tears

You had successfully got to the gates of the sanctuary without getting caught. You felt a slight wave of pain in your chest when you saw the cut in the fence that your mum had made on that night. It had been reinforced so you began to look for another escape route.

The only choice you had was to cut another hole at the bottom of the fence and crawl through. You retrieved Negan's knife from your boot and tried to cut away at the wire, knowing there was a slim to no chance of the blade cutting through the fence but you had to try.

Just as you placed the knife to the fence it was knocked out of your hand, A hand gripped your arm tight and whoever it was threw you to the floor. You reached your hands out in an attempt to catch yourself before hitting the concrete. You felt stitches on your hands rip open as your palms grazed the floor. You winced slightly at the pain before you was kicked in your stomach forcing you to turn over onto your back. You laid trying to catch your breath as a man who you knew as Dwight came into your view. He had ratty blonde hair and one side of his face was covered with repulsive scarring.

"You trying to escape again? You just don't give up do you?" Dwight shouted, lifting his gun to aim at your face in the process.

You remained silent as your breathing began to steady. You started to panic knowing Negan was going to be livid, he told you to stay put and you did the exact opposite. Just when you were about to speak up to defend yourself, you heard heavy footsteps approaching and the sound of a harsh voice filled the silence.

"Easy on the girl Dwight, Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on here?" Negan said, waltzing to stand next to Dwight with Lucille over his shoulder.

You began to feel anxious under the gaze of both men, still laying on your back, you looked up at negan and awaited his reaction to finding out you tried to leave.

"This girl tried to escape, again. She caused us enough trouble last time" Dwight explained. You blinked trying to hold back the tears that arrived at the reminder of what had previously happened.

"Did she now?" Negan said slowly, his eyebrows knotted together and he squinted, staring down at you. Flames began to brew in his eyes, your breath hitched slightly at the sight. "Lacey I told you to fucking stay put, you should learn to listen to me".

Negan reached down for your upper arm and swiftly lifted you from the floor in one quick motion, reminding you of his strength. You moved your hand to your stomach, still feeling the effects of dwights kick. Negan tightened his vice on your upper arm and began to drag you to the building you had just come from without saying another word.

You arrived at Negans room after nothing but a few minutes due to his rapid pace and long strides which you struggled to keep up with. He pushed you into his room a little harder than he intended, being unaware of his own strength. You stumbled slightly but regained your balance as you reached out for one of the bed posts. Only then was you reminded of your wounds on your hand which were now releasing a significant amount of blood. You dropped your arms and closed your palms not worrying about a few cuts, you had bigger problems.

Negan slammed the door behind him and dropped Lucille on the nearby table. He strutted towards you closing in the distance between you both as you prepared yourself for whatever he was going to do.

"Now What I can not understand is why you would disobey my very fucking clear instructions to stay the fuck put in order to leave for for the second fucking time". Negan was so close you could feel his breath on your face with every word he spoke. He was trying to intimidate you and it was definitely working.

"care to explain or you still at a lost for words?" Negan continued.

You opened your mouth to speak but it was as if a hand was gripped around your vocal cords, preventing you from answering. Your heart began to beat rapidly as Negan's eyes clung to yours.

"Fucking answer me" he shouted making you jump, he was clearly becoming frustrated with your absence of words.

"I knew you wouldn't let me if I asked asked you so-" you stuttered, your voice shaking out of fear.

"Spit it the fuck out" Negan interrupted, lowly but threatening.

"I wanted to get my mum" you said, lowering your head, unable to look Negan in his eyes. "I wanted to go and get her body to bring back and bury, I can't leave her out there alone".

Negan scoffed and turned, running his hand over his scruff.

"So your telling me you was going to risk your life, to bring back someone that might not even fucking be there". You snapped your head up and looked him in his cold eyes. Yours began to tear up knowing there was the possibility the dead had consumed her body.

You sighed before answering.

"I would risk my life because I have nothing left, I don't care if I live or die, I just wanted to bury her" you replied as a single tear dropped down your cheek.

An emotion you couldn't read emerged on Negan's face but you guessed it was anger by the raise in his voice as he shouted back.

"that's being fucking weak" he said pointing at you. "Maybe if you both hadn't run out there in the first place, your mum would still fucking be here".

You stepped back as if you took a physical blow at what he said. Your hand raised over your heart as a pain coursed through your chest. A flood of tears sprung to your eyes as you realised He was right. It was all your fault, you should've stopped her that night, should've convinced her to stay. You sunk to your knees and started to sob, forgetting Negan was there altogether.

Upon seeing your reaction, Negan's features softened automatically, he had forgotten who he was talking to. Seeing the hurt in your eyes, Negan chest tightened knowing he had caused it.

"Shit- shit" Negan began to walk towards you.

"Fuck- Lacey- I didn't mean" he dropped to your level and searched for your eyes. You were now uncontrollably sobbing and there was no stopping it. You completely blamed yourself and the pain radiated throughout your body, keeping you to the floor.

Negan backed away and tried to think how he could fix this, finding it hard to concentrate over your cries which sparked an unfamiliar feeling within him. He wasn't used to feeling guilt and didn't fully understand why it was there.

He realised what he had to do as he bent down in front of you.

You were on your knees on the floor, balling your heart out as Negan lifted his gloved hand to your chin forcing your eyes to meet his. You looked up at Negan, your vision blurry from your tears. /p

His guilt only intensified when he looked into your eyes. "Don't worry, I'll bring her back" he muttered before he swiftly stood, grabbed Lucille and walked out the room.

You heard the door lock on the other side before you laid to the floor, sadness taking over and forcing your eyes shut.


	5. A new grave

You woke to shrieks of light that was coming through Negan's windows and forcing your eyes open which were apparently still stinging from the buckets of tears you had cried.

You lifted your head to realise you were no longer on the hard floor of Negan's room, you were laying in the king sized luxury bed you noticed when you first entered. You allowed yourself to appreciate the soft silk sheets which were rapped around your small frame. Though the comfort was not enough to draw a smile to your face as the anguish of loss you were experiencing bubbled to the surface.

Last nights events replayed in your head, Negan finding you, him declaring that it was your fault your mum had died and completely failing to put your mum to rest. Despite the hurt Negan made you feel with his words, you didn't blame him. He was right.

An familiar immense amount of guilt began to build, wrapping itself around every fibre of you. You thought you had cried enough but apparently not as you felt tears threatening to escape your tired eyes. You lifted your arms from underneath the sheets to wipe your eyes when you realised you had bandages wrapped around your palms, someone must've carried you from the floor and cleaned your wounds up. You began to wonder if it was Negan when the door ubruptly swung open and the man himself strutted in, he's deadly weapon snuggled deep into his shoulder. He had a proud look on his face, he's dimples piercing his cheeks and softening his hard features, that was until he's eyes laid on you. His grin immediately dropped and he's eyes softened as he took in your appearance.

Your auburn locks had fell out of the hair tie which was struggling to control your mane, your eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by red blotchy skin, clearly irritated from the amount of tears you had cried and you were significantly dirty from not washing for almost 2 days. Negan figures being clean wasn't a priority right now. Despite your current look, Negan could see the beauty which was you, he knew you were at your lowest point and that he was probably the cause of your current sadness but he couldn't help but think how beautiful you are. You had no one to look after you or to make sure you were okay and Negan worried for you even though he was unsure why.

A small smirk grew as he walked towards your side of the bed to reveal some news he hoped would make you feel better.

You looked up at Negan through your long lashes, not speaking a word as he sat on the bed beside you. He softly placed his hand on your leg and you eyes averted to the gesture. You slowly lifted your gaze up to meet his eyes which were now seeking yours. A few silent moments until he He cleared his throat and spoke.

"Morning darlin'" he finally said, you noted how his voice was not as harsh as usual with a foreign softness attached. "I've got something to show you" he continued.

You looked up at him, confused as to why Negan was bothering with you.

"I don't really know how to say it so I'm just gonna fucking show you" Negan attempted to explain.

"show me what?" you responded, your voice little and raspy from your lack of speech over the past few days.

Negan's eyes widened as if he was shocked you actually spoke to him. He figured you hated him after what he had said.

"Well put your boots on doll and I'll take you" he said as he stood and retrieved your worn down boots from beside one of Negan's chairs.

"Negan" you spoke, your voice so little he barely heard you. It was the first time he had heard you say his name he knew he wanted to hear you say it again.

"yes darlin'" he said as he pulled your legs from under the sheets and dragged them over the side of the bed. He gently placed your feet in the boots and done up the laces.

You were shocked at how he was treating you, you hadn't seen this softer side of Negan and you wondered what he was showing it to you.

"Did you fix me up?" you asked as you lifted your hands over revealing the bandages, Your voice shaking under the pressure of Negan's eyes on yours.

"I sure did doll, you cut them up pretty bad after that fucker Dwight pushed you to the floor". Negan stood and offered his hand out to you accompanied by a large smile. You took his hand and stood up. "Doctor told me to take good fucking care of you so that's what I'm doing".

You began to think back to doctors orders which you barely took in because of the daze you were in the morning after the worst night of your life. The doctor had told Negan how to keep an infection away, not to take care of you.

Negan kept hold of your hand long after you had stood, he struggled to look straight at you due to the sadness which consumed your face especially your eyes. He felt bad for what he had said to you and the look on your heartbroken face only stood as a reminder of the pain you were probably feeling. He knew that pain.

"Thank you- for cleaning me up" you said dragging Negan from his thoughts. The innocent look on your face aswell as your gratefulness triggered a warmth to spread throughout Negan's chest which hadn't been there for a long while. He smiled down at you, not one of his sadistic grins, a sincere smile which shocked you.

"No problem sweetheart" he said, flashing his dimples again which were submerged within his tidy salt and peppered beard.

"After you" Negan led you forward out his room and you began to walk down the dark corridors of the sanctuary. You remembered the last words Negan spoke to you last night "I'll take care of it". You couldn't think what he meant and what he was showing you but once you were led outside, near to where the gardens where you worked were, you eyes found what Negan had meant.

You let out a gasp and your hand covered your mouth, your eyes become overflown with tears and your felt a combination of relief and grief which forced you to the floor beside a grave with the name "grace" engraved on the cross. It was your mothers grave.


	6. Beginning to heal

**Hey to anyone who is reading! I hope you are enjoying the story x just thought I'd quickly say that anything written in italics is a flashback/memory just to be clear:) hope you enjoy x**

After finding you trying to escape again Negan was angry, not just angry, he was livid. Him and his men went to a lot of effort to save you that night, along with the fact he had used medical supplies on you even though he was certain you didn't have to points to pay it back. That's what he told himself anyway, deep down he knew he was angry because he cared. Negan didn't know you, had barely spoke to you but for some reason he now felt responsible for your safety even if he was unsure why. Hearing you basically say you would risk your life because you didn't care for it anymore triggered something in him and he reacted with anger, the only way he knew how.

After he left the room he felt guilty seeing the look on your face when he blamed you for your mothers death, he instantly knew what to do to make it up to you.

Negan had gone to the place that him and his men found you at the night you lost your mum, the familiarity of the little house caused him to flashback to the night he had found you out there.

 _Negan was out on a run with a few men, they had stopped for the night and decided to set up camp. Negan was relaxing in his truck when he heard screams piercing through the trees, leaving echoes of pain to travel through the deserted forest. Negan knew noise like that would attract any of the dead that were roaming around looking for a meal and he thought the least he could do was save the sorry shits that were most likely about to meet their end. As him and his men located the source of sound, the cries had been replaced with the moans of the dead and he looked at his men letting out a sigh._

 _"Well We fucking tried" he muttered to himself assuming the dead had got there first._

 _As he looked back to the countless dead he realised they were moving towards something, towards someone. Negan saw you and he knew he recognised your auburn hair and pale skin. He raised his gun and began to shoot one of the dead just in time as it's rotting hand grabbed your shoulder. His men followed and gunned the rest of them down. Negan looked over to you curled up, blood pooling out of your hands and as your body trembled. He walked towards you, wanting to know why you were out of the sanctuary in the first place but as you began to look up you passed out._

 _It didn't take long for Negan's men to find a woman's body. He followed his men into the cabin and he wasn't surprised by what he saw, it doesn't take long in the apocalypse to get used to the sight of a mutilated body. He analysed the body and realised it was a woman's, whoever she was she didn't look like anyone he recognised, probably because her face along with the rest of her body had been ripped apart Negan thought to himself. Negan thought back to the girl he had recognised outside and remembered he had seen you a few times with a woman by your side who he assumed was your mother. Realising this was probably the same woman he dropped his head and ran his hand over his beard as he stood._

 _"Well shit" he said lifting Lucille to his shoulder and turning to one of his men. "We've got another fucking orphan on our hands, let's hope she's not hard work" Negan said walking out the cabin and back to you._

 _He bent down beside you, wanting to check you over to make sure you hadn't been bit. He didn't want to take you back to the sanctuary if you were infected. You were covered in blood and he needed to know if it was yours or the dead's they had killed. He pulled the back pack you still had on off your arms as he began carefully examining your body, he briefly skimmed over your arms and legs seeing the only injury you had were the deep cuts on your hands. Negan looked to your face, gently pushing the hair which was covering your features._

 _"What am I going to do with you" Negan asked himse_ lf _as he picked you up and took you to his truck._

Negan had retrieved what was left of your mothers body, and told his men to find out her name and to bury her. Negan looked to the grave that had been made paying close attention to the name engraved on the cross. He knew he had heard the name 'grace' recently and that the name might be important but didn't think anymore of it as he turned to lay his eyes on you.

You had sunk to your knees in the dirt, crying softly, relieved that your mum has been laid to rest. You lifted one of your hands to the top layer of gravel covering the grave In an attempt to feel closer to her . You closed your eyes and thought of your mum, how beautiful she was and how much she meant to you. Your heart ached as you thought of the pain she must've felt before her heart stopped beating but you pushed the thought away because it's hurts too much . You don't even know why she wanted to run in the first place or what had forced her to think your only way out was to be alone out in the world again but you allowed yourself to smile feeling a slight comfort knowing she could now be at peace.

"I'm so sorry mum" you said, tears beginning to role down your face again. "I should've stopped you, should've made us stay. I hope you are at peace, away from all the pain and suffering, you deserve to be free" you smiled slightly at the thought of your mum being away from it all, she wouldn't have to feel pain any longer.

You lifted your hand and traced your fingers over the letters on the cross. "I love you mum" you said as you squeezed the edge of the cross before standing and turning to Negan almost forgetting he was there.

"Did you do this?" You asked slowly. He wasn't standing too far from you with Lucille placed on his shoulder and a hand in his pocket. His eyes were filled with concern until he saw the small smile on your face. The warmth from earlier returned at the sight and the corner of his mouth turned up at the feeling.

Negan went to speak but had to clear is throat in order to get the words out, his body clearly adjusting to the foreign feeling.

"Me and a few others went out and brought her back, figured it would stop you from running out there every chance you had" he said chucking, his smile expanding over his face.

You looked down at the grave once more before turning to Negan again. You walked slowly towards him stopping a few feet from him. You looked up at him surprised at the way he was looking at you. He's eyes were not cloudy and unreadable like most of the time, he was looking at you with what you thought was with care and concern. You smiled and slowly proceeded to close the gap between the two of you , wrapping your around him pulling Negan in for a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much Negan" you said as you rested your head against his chest. You spoke In your usual small voice but there was a hint of solace in the way you spoke which made Negan smile as He raised his large arms and draped them over you, holding you close, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"No problem sweetheart" he said, his voice laced with content.

It was then Negan realised how much burying your mum had meant to you, it wasn't just the concept, it was going to help you heal and move on.

After a few moments you pulled away and Your eyes met, looking into yours Negan knew you were going to be alright. Your eyes weren't cold or distant nor was your face emotionless. Negan saw an emotion he hadn't seen In a long while. Hope. The hope that everything was going to be okay.


End file.
